[DeTomaso] NPC: The WSJ review of the Mercedes-AMG electric sedan

[Mike & Elizabeth]

Sounds as though he'd prefer to wax prophetic than wax the car. . . .

-----Original Message-----
From: DeTomaso <detomaso-bounces at server.detomasolist.com> On Behalf Of
Charles Engles
Sent: Sunday, March 19, 2023 7:21 AM
To: detomaso at server.detomasolist.com
Subject: [DeTomaso] NPC: The WSJ review of the Mercedes-AMG electric sedan

Dear Forum,

 

             This is an excerpt from Dan Neil's WSJ weekly automotive
column.  He reviews the new Mercedes-AMG sedan.

 

            "Nowhere in this music box will you find the snoring sonority of
an IC engine. That would be ridiculous, grandpa."

 

             It is anathema to followers of the "Cleveland Symphony".   FYI:

 

            A Mercedes-AMG Sedan That Sings the Body Electric

 

An unsettling excerpt from Dan Neil's review

 

"....So it's fast. More important, for our purposes, it tries very hard to
give the impression of fast, by way of its AMG Sound Experience, an example
of what the industry calls a "symposer" system. Integrated with the
Burmester audio system and augmented by special speakers and a bass actuator
in the cabin, this onboard synthesizer generates a ghostly host of
electronic tones, warbles and tremors as a backing track of performance-
from soft-singing seraphim in the virtualized choir loft to an ominous,
subwoofer-enabled tumult, growing wider and darker as speeds and voltage
increase. It's Judgment Day in traffic court.

 

I've been critical of similar systems in the past for trying to solve a
problem that isn't real, for offering an emotional crutch for the petroleum-
dependent, for sounding campy and cartoonish. But I'm coming around. In a
car with the EQE's capacities, I've observed, a little aural feedback can
keep one from forgetting oneself, in a careless and reckless, 15-mph-over
sort of way.

 

Owners may, at their discretion, mute the system. Against the inherent quiet
of the EV mechanism, other noises from around the vehicle step forward. Our
friend's extra- wide Michelins roar up a little ruckus at high speed. In
some respects, the symposer is only the next step in active noise
cancellation technology that has been around for decades.

 

Of course, in the AMG-tweaked EQE, the technology is more concerned with
noise generation than cancellation. Among these select-able touch screen
menu items you will find the R& D department's best take on the limbic and
emotional soundscape of AMG performance, post-petroleum. Hate it or love it,
this artificial flavoring will be central to the brand's experientials in
the age of electrification.

 

Users have an initial choice of two orchestrations, if you like: the
Authentic mode or the more torrid and sordid Performance mode. From there
users can select from three, not modes, but moods, in order of escalating
engagement of the amygdala: "Balanced," "Sport" or "Powerful." Drivers can
also cycle among these sci-fi SFX options with the rotary selector in the
lower-left quadrant of the steering wheel.

 

In any mood, the synthesized chordal washes change temperament with demand,
linearly and proportionally, providing a key feedback loop in the driver's
awareness. In Sport+ drive mode, the system defaults to Powerful mood-which
summons a sweaty, suffused electronic rumble, as if a digitally remastered
thunderstorm had settled inside the car.

 

Nerd alert. The most fanciful and futuristic-sounding of the moods is the
middle one, the Sport setting, which makes the car sound like it's on pole
at the Tatooine 500. While the car is on a trailing throttle-braking
regeneratively, that is-a tornadic howl winds down, like an off-world
Shop-Vac.

 

Other tasting notes: I was struck by the reliance on what sounded like human
voices-breathless, Gregorian, pitch-bending to the rise and fall of speed
and voltage output, like the Vienna Boys Choir sitting in with Rammstein.
That's cool.

 

Nowhere in this overpowered music box will you find the snoring sonority of
an IC engine, because that would be ridiculous, grandpa. The imaginations
being appealed to grew up playing videogames, wielding humming lightsabers
and eluding enemies through a screeching vortex of warp speed. What sounds
awesome to them sounds to you like a cat walking over Rick Wakeman's
keyboards.

 

And what sounds awesome to you, used to be.

 

Nowhere in this music box will you find the snoring sonority of an IC
engine. That would be ridiculous, grandpa.

 

The Mercedes-AMG EQE includes a soundtrack from a "symposer," ranging from
ghostly tones to human-ish voices."

                 Warmest regards, Chuck Engles