[DeTomaso] NPC: Automotive Journalism Humor

[Charles Engles]

Dear Forum,

 

 

                        These excerpts are from Dan Neil's Wall St. Journal
automotive column from March 22.

 

 

                       Fiat 500L: the Rich Inner Life of a Gutless Clown Car

 

 

              "Last year, somewhere deep in the bowels of Fiat's Ufficio
Stampa in Turin , Italy, an employee had a problem.  On the screen was a
news release  about the first load of Fiat 500Ls arriving from Montenegro to
the Port of Baltimore.  He or she was obliged to write something pleasant
about the car's driving.

 

                      The "North American Fiat 500L delivers excellent
performance and great driving pleasure," the person perjured blandly.
"These enviable characteristics are made even more interesting by typical
European handling and precise, responsive steering."

 

                 Hmm, not so much.  Actually, the 500L corners like the
world's smallest '65 Pontiac Bonneville.  At engine speeds below 2,250 rpm,
there is no one home torque-wise.  You hit the gas and time stands still, a
la "The Matrix."  And the six-speed manual gearbox is the vaguest, wobbliest
such mechanism I've encountered since I was winning dance contests in my
three piece suit.  This thing isn't a transmission.  It is an intermission.

 

                  And yet it is fair to say the 500L drives exactly as
designed.  Indeed, the 500L's best qualities-a hip, high-style interior with
scads of flexible space and utility---are aimed squarely at consumers who
are, shall we say,  driving-agnostic.  

 

                    The 500's cheery, anthropomorphic styling cues, as if
drawn with a pencil nub, have been grafted on the much larger car, but the
results are disquieting.  If the tiny 500 is a glamorous flea of a city car,
our pale yellow 500L test car looked a bit like an overinflated canary."

 

 

                                    Warmest regards,  Chuck Engles  

-------------- next part --------------
   Dear Forum,



                           These excerpts are from Dan Neil's Wall St.
   Journal automotive column from March 22.



                          Fiat 500L: the Rich Inner Life of a Gutless
   Clown Car



                 "Last year, somewhere deep in the bowels of Fiat's
   Ufficio Stampa in Turin , Italy, an employee had a problem.  On the
   screen was a news release  about the first load of Fiat 500Ls arriving
   from Montenegro to the Port of Baltimore.  He or she was obliged to
   write something pleasant about the car's driving.


                         The "North American Fiat 500L delivers excellent
   performance and great driving pleasure," the person perjured blandly.
   "These enviable characteristics are made even more interesting by
   typical European handling and precise, responsive steering."


                    Hmm, not so much.  Actually, the 500L corners like the
   world's smallest '65 Pontiac Bonneville.  At engine speeds below 2,250
   rpm, there is no one home torque-wise.  You hit the gas and time stands
   still, a la "The Matrix."  And the six-speed manual gearbox is the
   vaguest, wobbliest such mechanism I've encountered since I was winning
   dance contests in my three piece suit.  This thing isn't a
   transmission.  It is an intermission.


                     And yet it is fair to say the 500L drives exactly as
   designed.  Indeed, the 500L's best qualities--a hip, high-style
   interior with scads of flexible space and utility---are aimed squarely
   at consumers who are, shall we say,  driving-agnostic.


                       The 500's cheery, anthropomorphic styling cues, as
   if drawn with a pencil nub, have been grafted on the much larger car,
   but the results are disquieting.  If the tiny 500 is a glamorous flea
   of a city car, our pale yellow 500L test car looked a bit like an
   overinflated canary."



                                       Warmest regards,  Chuck Engles