[DeTomaso] NPC, but car-guy relevant - Differences between men and women

[Ed Pike]

Priceless and spot on!

Thanks
Ed....
On Jan 21, 2013 5:02 PM, "Rob Dumoulin" <rob at dumoulins.net> wrote:

> This has always been my favorite synopsis of the differences between men
> and women.
>
> Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine.  He asks
> her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good  time.  A few
> nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
>  They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one
> of them is seeing anybody else.
>
> One evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and,
> without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of
> tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''  And then
> there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.
> She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that.
> Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm
> trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or
> isn't sure of....
>
> And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months....
>
> And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
> relationship, either.  Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd
> have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we
> are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just
> going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading
> toward marriage?  Toward children?  Toward a lifetime together?  Am I ready
> for that level of  commitment?  Do I really even know this person? ...
>
> And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . .
> February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at
> the dealer's, which means . . .  lemme check the odometer .. . Whoa!  I am
> way overdue for an oil change here....
>
> And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face.  Maybe I'm
> reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship,
> more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed
> it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's
> why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid
> of being rejected....
>
> And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission
> again. I don't care what those numbnuts say, it's still not shifting right.
>  And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time.  What
> cold weather?  It's 87 freakin degrees out and this thing is shifting like
> a goddamn garbage truck. Jeeze, to think I paid those incompetent thieves
> $600....
>
> And Elaine is thinking: Oh God, I made him angry. And I don't blame him.
> I'd be angry, too.  God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I
> can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure....
>
> And Roger is thinking: They'll probably try to pull that 90 day warranty
> B.S.  That's exactly what they're gonna say, scumballs....
>
> And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight
> to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a
> perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do
> care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in
> pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasies.
>
> And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty?  I'll give them a
> goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ....
>
> ''Roger!,'' Elaine says aloud.
>
> ''What?'' says Roger, startled.
>
> ''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning
> to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have  . . Oh God, I feel so .
> .... .''  (She breaks down, sobbing).
>
> ''What?'' says Roger.
>
> ''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight.  I
> really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.'
>
> ''There's no night or horse?'' says Roger.
>
> ''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
>
> ''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
>
> ''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,''  Elaine says.
>
>  (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries
> to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he
> thinks might work.)
>
> ''Yes,'' he says.
>
> (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)  ''Oh, Roger, do you really feel
> that way?'' she says.
>
> ''What way?'' says Roger
>
> ''That way about time,'' says Elaine.
>
> ''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.'
>
> (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
> become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
> involves a horse. At last she speaks.)  ''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
>
> ''Thank you,'' says Roger.
>
> Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured
> soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he
> opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply
> involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never
> heard of.  A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that
> something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure
> there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's
> better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding
> world hunger.)
>
> The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of  them,
> and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours.   In
> painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he
> said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression,
>  and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
> ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for
> weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never
> getting bored with it, either.
>
> Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of
> his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:  ''Norm,
> did Elaine ever own a horse?'
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