[DeTomaso] Pandora's Perils, Part II: a near miss, or "close encounters of the I-85 Kind"

[Christopher Kimball]

On day two of the trek from University Place to Phoenix for the POCA Fun Rally, things started out well.  I awoke just prior to the alarm going off, had breakfast and loaded up.  I was surprised that Clarke and Wilma had already left with their truck and trailer (Clarke told me at dinner this evening that their Pantera only has about 9,000 miles on it, so that explains the reason it's being cossetted), but then I remembered the old Aesop's fable, and had to smile.  Then I stopped smiling because I remembered I wouldn't be able to use that analogy in my journal log today, because in the story of the tortoise and the hare, it was the hare that left first.  D'oh!
Anyway, the drive out of Hermiston was beautiful.  The weather was sunny, the roads relatively free from traffic, and there were numerous sweeping curves and long straightaways of the type that Panteras and their owners love.  The weather was definitely getting warmer, though, and after a couple of hours I decided to forget about gas mileage--I rolled up the windows and turned on the air-conditioning!  The necessity for air conditioning was made apparent when I attempted to enjoy a Rolo.  Upon unwrapping said candy, instead of finding individual morsels, I found a glob of chocolate-caramel goo. Fortunately I managed to get most of it in my mouth instead of on my clothes, or worse, my Recaros.
Although the car performed great (except for one minor glitch, which I'll get to in a moment), there was one very harrowing experience.  I was driving about 70 mph and was gradually passing a semi which was on my right.  It was a typical two-lane highway, and I'd been passing vehicles in the slow lane all day.  The truck was probably traveling at 65 or so, because I was passing him very slowly.  Ahead, in the right lane (his lane) was another semi which I assumed was lumbering up the hill at a rate similar to his.  There were no brake lights, no emergency flashers and no turn signals to indicate otherwise.  As the semi and I approached the semi ahead, however, it became apparent that the truck ahead of us was at a dead stop with mechanical problems.  I think the driver of the semi I was passing realized the gravity of the situation at the same time I did, because I heard his brakes engage just at the moment I realized he couldn't avoid a rear-end collision with the disabled semi without swerving into my lane which would have put a quick end to my trip to the Fun Rally.  
I thought for absolute certain that I was about to witness a horrendous crash of the semi to my right rear-ending into the semi in front of him, at 65 miles hour.  Just as I pulled ahead of the semi I was passing, he immediately swerved into the left lane, missing the back end of the disabled semi by feet.  Not yards; feet.  How he was able to move such a huge rig so quickly is beyond me.  As I continued my drive, and as my heart rate began to get back to normal, I wondered how they would be able to move the disabled semi off the road, and if there would be a collision imminent because some other driver might not be as lucky as I.
Thoughts of guardian angels came to mind, and it suddenly hit me:  I can use this trip as subject material for the seminary class I teach one night per week.  Think about it; yesterday my car had a hole-lee pipe from which water sprang forth--I can ask the class which asphalt they think will be in Heaven, the gas station asphalt, which was only sprinkled, or the floor of Larry's shop, which was immersed...
Or how about this:  Given the the following facts, determine the correct answer.  1) laws are simply social constructs developed by mortal men, and have little bearing in Heaven, 2) the less time spent driving on highways with ridiculously low speed limits, the more time we all have to fulfill the great commission, and 3) the Bible instructs us to respect our elders, so if we are told by a wise mechanic who is older that we are, to occasionally "blow the gunk out of the car," it would be a bad example not to heed his words.
With that fact pattern in mind, would it not, theologically, be just and right for a hypothetical Pantera driver to hypothetically drive 152 miles per hour (thereby reducing his driving time by over 60%) at a time when there was a really long straightaway with no cars in sight while leaving a hypothetical state called Oregon?
Following that discussion, I'll cover the concepts of confession and forgiveness...
And for you doubting Thomases, how about this:  I was 45 minutes from Twin Falls, Idaho when my stereo inexplicably went silent.  I wasn't sure why, although I had noticed that my power antenna was having trouble fully extending--sometimes it would have no problems, other times it just didn't seem to have enough energy to reach its full potential (I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with the unit's age).  It turns out my IPOD may have just gotten to warm and temporarily shut down.  So rather than listening to music, I began concentrating on the sounds of the Pantera.
There's a saying my wise, English mother oft quotes, "Where ignorance is bliss, it is folly to be wise."  Sounds great until you own a classic car.  Blissful ignorance has cost me a bundle with Pandora!  So I'm listening to the sounds I don't usually hear, and all of a sudden there is a noise resembling a jet aircraft overhead.  Except the sound wasn't coming from overhead; it was coming from down below.  I put the car in neutral and revved the engine.  That made no difference, so I surmised it wasn't a problem with the motor.  I tapped the brakes, still no change.  I swerved to the right and left to see if that would make a difference, but the sound remained constant.
I wasn't sure if I should take the chance to continue to Twin Falls, or pull off at the next exit.  I needed a sign.  I needed a miracle!  At that very moment, I saw the sign, the sound stopped, and I was in Bliss.  
Actually, what happened was I saw a sign that said "Miracle Hot Springs, next exit," the pavement changed from the rough surface which was causing the sound to a smooth surface so the tire noise stopped, and at that very moment I was passing through the town of Bliss, Idaho.
Yes, the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Tomorrow is a long one--8.5 hours (gulp!) of driving.  Guess I'd better put the remaining Rolos in the cooler.
Sincerely,
Chris

The hypothetical