[DeTomaso] NPC: We all have laugh sometime . . .

[Mike Thomas]

Subject: FW: That's how the fight got started


 
 



 


 
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the


dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. 



I hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential 

downpour. The wind was blowing a gale, so I pulled back into the garage,
turned 

on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. 



I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I 

cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
whispered, 

'The weather out there is terrible.' 



My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
out 

fishing in that?' 



And that's how the fight started .. 





**** 

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed. I 

turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" 



"No," she answered. 



I then said, "Is that your final answer?" 



She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." 



So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." 



And that's how the fight started .. 





**** 

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social 

Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's

 license to verify my age. 



I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the


woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home 

and come back later. 



The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. 



So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. 



She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she 

processed my Social Security application. 



When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social 

Security office. 



She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have got
disability, 

too' 



And that's how the fight started .. 





**** 

I rear-ended a car this morning. 



So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
his 

car. 



You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
seem 

funny? 



Yeah, well I couldn't believe it .. He was a DWARF!!! 



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'




So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well then, which one are you?' 



And that's how the fight started .. 





**** 

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order 

first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' 



He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 



'Nah,' I said, 'she can order for herself.' 



And that's how the fight started .. 





**** 

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept 

staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
table. 





My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 



'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking


right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been
sober 

since.' 



'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
that 

long?' 



And that's how the fight started .... 



**** 

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
with 

what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and


ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' 



The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' 



And that's how the fight started .......





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