[DeTomaso] NPC: We all have laugh sometime . . .

[Bill Lewis]

Another one until someone screams and stops us!
Three nuns are in a car wreck and are all killed.  Two are really old nuns, for at least 40 years, and the third is just out of nun school.  They are at the Pearly gates, and St Peter says, "I have to ask you a question and when you answer properly, you will hear, 'BONG-BONG' and the gates will open and in you go.
He asks the first old nun a really deep spiritual question, and she instantly has the answer, and BONG-BONG, the gates open and in she goes.  He asks the next older nun another deep question - BONG-BONG, and the gates swing open.
Finally, the brand new nun is in front of him and he says, "You are new so here is an easier question for you:  'What did Eve say when she saw Adam for the first time?'"
The nun thought and thought and squirmed and thought, and then finally said in a quiet voice, "That's a hard one."  BONG-BONG.





> From: mbefthomas at comcast.net
> To: detomaso at realbig.com
> Date: Wed, 9 Sep 2009 17:44:46 -0700
> Subject: [DeTomaso] NPC: We all have laugh sometime . . .
> 
> 
>  
> 
> Subject: FW: That's how the fight got started
> 
> 
>  
>  
> 
> 
> 
>  
> 
> 
>  
> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
> 
> 
> dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. 
> 
> 
> 
> I hooked the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
> torrential 
> 
> downpour. The wind was blowing a gale, so I pulled back into the garage,
> turned 
> 
> on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. 
> 
> 
> 
> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I 
> 
> cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and
> whispered, 
> 
> 'The weather out there is terrible.' 
> 
> 
> 
> My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is
> out 
> 
> fishing in that?' 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> **** 
> 
> My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
> bed. I 
> 
> turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" 
> 
> 
> 
> "No," she answered. 
> 
> 
> 
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?" 
> 
> 
> 
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." 
> 
> 
> 
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> **** 
> 
> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social 
> 
> Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
> 
>  license to verify my age. 
> 
> 
> 
> I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the
> 
> 
> woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home 
> 
> and come back later. 
> 
> 
> 
> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. 
> 
> 
> 
> So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. 
> 
> 
> 
> She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she 
> 
> processed my Social Security application. 
> 
> 
> 
> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social 
> 
> Security office. 
> 
> 
> 
> She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have got
> disability, 
> 
> too' 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> **** 
> 
> I rear-ended a car this morning. 
> 
> 
> 
> So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of
> his 
> 
> car. 
> 
> 
> 
> You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just
> seem 
> 
> funny? 
> 
> 
> 
> Yeah, well I couldn't believe it .. He was a DWARF!!! 
> 
> 
> 
> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!'
> 
> 
> 
> 
> So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well then, which one are you?' 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> **** 
> 
> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order 
> 
> first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.' 
> 
> 
> 
> He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 
> 
> 
> 
> 'Nah,' I said, 'she can order for herself.' 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> **** 
> 
> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept 
> 
> staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby
> table. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 
> 
> 
> 
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'she's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
> 
> 
> right after we split up those many years ago and I hear she hasn't been
> sober 
> 
> since.' 
> 
> 
> 
> 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating
> that 
> 
> long?' 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .... 
> 
> 
> 
> **** 
> 
> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy
> with 
> 
> what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
> 
> 
> ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' 
> 
> 
> 
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' 
> 
> 
> 
> And that's how the fight started .......
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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