[DeTomaso] Tools Explained

[P. Rimov]

AH, I just fell off my chair backwards and smacked my head against the floor 
laughing, Damit tool, HA AAHHAA HAH. Welding torch: Open flame device used 
to ignite solvent soaked rags your dog mistakes for her Frisbee, No idea why 
the dogs whiskers are all burnt, honey.

Cheers

Paul
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Peter Kovacs To: detomaso at realbig.com List-Subscribe:" 
<peter-kovacs at sbcglobal.nethttp://list.realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/detomaso>; 
"Sender: detomaso-bounces at realbig.com" 
<mailto:detomaso-request at list.realbig.com?subject=subscribe>
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2009 7:58 PM
Subject: [DeTomaso] Tools Explained


>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat 
> metal
> bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings 
> your
> beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had
> carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
>
> WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under 
> the
> workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and 
> hard-earned
> calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh -- '
>
> ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes 
> until
> you die of old age.
> SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
>
> PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
> blood-blisters.
>
> BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor 
> touch-up
> jobs into major refinishing jobs.
>
> HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board 
> principle.
> It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the 
> more
> you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
>
> VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off boltheads. 
> If
> nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense 
> welding
> heat to the palm of your hand.
>
> OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
> objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside 
> the
> wheel hub out of whic h you want to remove a bearing race.
>
> TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launchwood
> projectiles for testing wall integrity.
>
> HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after 
> you
> have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jackhandle firmly under 
> the
> bumper.
>
> BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut 
> good
> aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can
> after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
>
> TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of
> everything you forgot to disconnect.
>
> PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or 
> for
> opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; 
> but
> can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
>
> STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to 
> convert
> common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
>
> PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket 
> you
> needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
>
> HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
>
> HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is 
> used as
> a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the 
> object
> we are trying to hit.
>
> UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard 
> cartons
> delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as
> seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, 
> refund
> checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work
> clothes, but only while in use.
>
> DAMM-IT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage 
> while
> yelling 'DAMM-IT' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the 
> next
> tool that you will need.
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps!
>
>
> -- 
> Thanks,
> Renee
>
> -- 
> Renee Johnson de Morales
> 317-910-7070
> 317-816-0987 fax
> _______________________________________________
>
> Detomaso Forum Managed by POCA
>
> Archive Search Engine Now Available at http://www.realbig.com/detomaso/
>
> DeTomaso mailing list
> DeTomaso at list.realbig.com
> http://list.realbig.com/mailman/listinfo/detomaso