[DeTomaso] The REAL Nebraska ORR report (not for children)

[Tom Di Iulio]

Hello all, 
      I've read Mad Dawg's version of events in Nebraska and can no
longer contain myself. 
 
1.	There were NO Brazilian girls. Mad Dawg DID spend considerable
time chasing and catching a pig. I thought we were headed to a bbq but
nooooo...Mad Dawg spent the next several hours trying to teach the pig
to squeal in a Mexican accent. What a god awful noise! The next morning
the pig comes limping out of Mad Dawg's room with the words "Toot Sweet"
written on it's hind quarters in magic marker. 
2.	Durango Dave (aka David Adin) presented himself as the Pope
(yeah, the real one) while in town. If you knew what he looked like,
you'd agree he could get away with it. We put up with that until he
hosted a "Get in touch with Jesus" gathering in the park for youngsters.
When he proclaimed the need to "lay hands on" for healing purposes, we
all jumped him and dragged him back to the trailer. Man, that was close!
3.	Did I mention the trailer? It was cool if you like dead animals
lining the walls (really!) with eyes that followed you no matter where
you were. I'd be walking down the hallway to my bedroom and I'd hear
"Get Out!" and "Hail Lucifer!" being whispered. I'd turn around and all
would be still. Should dead, stuffed animals bleed from the eyes?
4.	 Mad Dawg, his friend Larry, and I left Arnold early Sunday
morning in convoy. We get to I-80 and get a bit separated as I pull
ahead. I pull off for gas and Mad Dawg continues. After I've refueled, I
continue west on I-80 and see a familiar truck/trailer combo heading
east on the same interstate. Hell, it's Mad Dawg and navigator Larry
heading east! Don't know how this happened but I swear it's true.
5.	Since hosting the guys at my house before we headed on to
Arnold, my wife has noticed certain "personal" items missing. I hope
they fit Mad Dawg's head as well as they look on my wife's backside.
6.	I have a new rash. 
7.	Nebraska girls are big. Nebraska boys are big too. Actually all
people in Nebraska are big. 
8.	I'll go back again next year..
 
Tom Di Iulio
Denver, CO