[DeTomaso] Fun Rally Chronicles, Day 8

[Christopher Kimball]

Day
Eight, March 30th: A Great Day in Panteraland

 

Toby Keith recorded a song called “I Love This Bar.”  Even though I don’t drink, I can completely
relate to his sentiments on a slightly different level.  I love this room service.  I’m just now sitting down to write about
today’s activities, and because the day was so jam-packed with action, it turns
out I skipped lunch and a proper dinner. 
I knew I needed something to eat besides the M&Ms and pretzels I’d enjoyed
while in the hospitality suite, so in an act of purest optimism I called the
operator and asked if I could get a milkshake at 11:00 at night.

 

Not only was the answer “yes,” but it could even be delivered to my
room!  Best of all, it will only cost me
$10.00.  

 

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “That’s a lot for a milkshake.”  That may be true, but it’s all about
priorities.  Some people would say it’s
crazy for anyone to spend his or her entire life-savings on a Pantera, but I
would hazard a guess everyone reading this would find that a totally sane thing
to do…

 

Ah, what’s this?  A knock on my
door.  It is, in fact, said milkshake
being delivered.  Although a bit small,
it looks delicious.  The silly room service
guy forgot to bring a straw (!) but for the generous tip I gave him, he agreed
to go fetch one for me.  By the time I
finish this paragraph he will have returned and I’ll be happily sipping.

 

A delicious milkshake is a great ending to a great day.  This morning I got up at about 5:30 AM for
the only thing on the planet that would cause me to do such a foolhardy thing.  Today was the day Vicki and Donny left for
home.  They took an early flight so Don
could get back to University Place in time to attend a friend’s graduation.  I wanted to be awake when they left so I
could give them a hug and a kiss goodbye (Vicki got both; Don simply got a
hug).  Once they were safely on their
way, I went back to bed.

 

I didn't sleep for long—8:00 arrived all too soon.  Due to intense pressure from my loyal
readers, I have been forced to make a change in my persona.  It concerns my weak attempt at growing a
beard.  It was actually only one person
who complained.  I won’t mention her
name, other than to say her email address includes the words “fast” and “grandma.”  She wrote she “wanted the old Chris back.”  I took that to mean she wanted me to look
less homeless, so for the first time this vacation, I took out the shaving
cream and destroyed 2 week’s-worth of follicular exercise.  If it weren't for the grey hairs, wrinkles,
and pot-belly, I’d look 15 again.

 

After becoming fully awake, I went to the buffet breakfast.  Unfortunately, because it took so long to
shave off my huge, manly beard, I only had time left to eat a bowl of Frosted
Mini Wheats.  It’s just as well—I was
still so stuffed from yesterday I really didn't need breakfast at all.  

 

I ran into Bob and Dena Lewis in the elevator, and we were all amazed that
we arrived at the right floor in less than 25 minutes.  The elevator in this place seems to have a
mind of its own.  I think it might
qualify to be one of the exhibits in the Haunted Tour I saw advertised.

 

During breakfast I sat at a table full of friendly POCA members,
including fellow north-westerners Denny and Maggie Finn.  It was fun talking with them, but I soon had
to leave to get to the parking garage in time for the drivers’ meeting prior to
the Midway tour.  I was looking forward
to the tour, since I have always had an interest in the rides and side-shows of
county fairs.

 

I’m kidding, of course.  The Midway
we were about to see is a rather gargantuan aircraft carrier that, in a prime
example of our Government’s penchant for good timing, was commissioned into
service exactly one week before the end of World-War Two.  “Missed it by that much…”

 

Surprisingly, no one got lost on the way to the museum, and soon we
were parked in the lot next to the giant ship. 
If you go to my Facebook, you might be able to see the pictures I took
of our cars lined up.  Those of you
reading this on the forum will have to again use your imagination.

 

I opted for the audio tour.  I
was issued headphones and a receiver. 
Note the use of the military-sounding word “issued.”  I’m getting you in the mood for Navy
stuff.  I took a considerable amount of
pictures, including a shot of the small space allocated to provide sleeping
quarters for a lot of personnel.  Talk
about sardines!  This arrangement was for
the enlisted men—officers were afforded much nicer accommodations.  

 

The control rooms were as complicated as you would expect on a ship
that carried a crew of between 3,700 and 4,500 people.

 

The ship had a compliment of airplanes on display on the flight deck,
ranging from vintage, World-War Two examples to helicopters, to contemporary
jets.  Throughout the ship there were
various mannequins in navy-ish poses.  It
was kind of creepy, actually, because as I followed the little yellow arrows
from audio-station to audio-station, I was surrounded by other tourists who
were real.  Then, all of a sudden, I’d
come fact-to-face with a non-moving sailor. 
Sometimes the difference between the two became a bit blurred.  For example, one of the displays depicted a
soldier sleeping.  The dummy used in that
instance was expanding and contracting along with a snoring soundtrack.  It sounded almost exactly as Vicki describes
my snoring, and with the movement the thing seemed quite lifelike.  On the other hand, some of the tourists I saw
seemed to have the vacant stare of the mannequins…

 

The ship had a chapel, too, which I thought was a nice touch.  I’m surprised (and relieved) it’s still part
of the tour, since it seems these days anything to do with religion is somehow
offensive so someone somewhere.  

 

There was also a display of exquisite place settings one wouldn't expect to find in the military, but as I mentioned earlier, officers received
much better accommodations than the typical sailor.

 

I took a picture of the bridge with a jet in the foreground, and you
can see how great the weather was.  A
breeze kept things in the perfect temperature range.  I took several other pictures, including an intimidating
view of a fighter jet, as well as from the flight deck a view of the Panteras
in the parking lot.

 

In the radar room I saw a readout which had indications of small
objects scattered all about the screen in a seemingly random, haphazard pattern.  It turned out it was an aerial view of the Pantera
group that yesterday was trying to stay together for the mountain drive.

 

I also took a couple of artistic shots; one of the backs of the
Panteras in the parking lot, and another of my car with the bridge of the
Midway in the background.  The amazing
thing is it costs about the same to operate the Midway as it does to keep
Pandora running…

 

I've had the opportunity of sharing my POCA Fun Rally activities with Tom
Shinrock, and he has been a valuable co-pilot. 
We drove back to the hotel (without getting lost) in time to have an
hour or so before leaving for the Escondido Cruise-In later that afternoon. 

 

That was just enough time for me to enjoy a bowl of clam chowder and a
vanilla Frappuccino at the snack bar before meeting Tom in the parking garage
for the pre-cruise-in driver’s meeting.

 

The trip to Escondido was about a half-an-hour, which gave me a chance
to see if my air conditioner still worked. 
To my relief, it worked great.  As
we drove to the cruse-in, we encountered the most confusing car-pool lane
arrangement I've ever seen.  The lanes
divided with the familiar diamond pattern in the HOV lanes, but there were
large signs indicating cars in those lanes would get charged 50 cents every so
often, and there was also a picture of some sort of certificate.  I’m not sure if it meant if you had the
certificate you’re bank account would get billed automatically, if you didn't have the certificate you’d get a bill in the mail, if you were a single-occupant car in the carpool lane with the certificate you could stay in
the lane but you’d have to pony-up the 50 cents, or if the certificate was
something Californians could get to make them feel superior to us
out-of-towners.

 

I simply kept driving.

 

When we reached the cruise in, we found an entire city block had been
reserved for Panteras.  Even then, I don’t
think the organizers were prepared for the sheer number of Panteras that
arrived.  Some of us had to wait a while
before getting staged, primarily because a few shoppers had parked their
daily-drivers in the areas which were supposed to be reserved for the classic
and collector cars involved with the cruise-in. 


 

I’m not sure how anyone could be so oblivious as to what is going on not
to notice his or her car is in the wrong place. 
“Hey Mildred, how come every car parked next to ours is 44 inches tall
and has massive horsepower?  Plus, they
all look kinda eye-tal-ee-un.  Do ya’
think there might be some kinda show goin’ on? 
I wondered what all them orange cones were doin’ in the middle of the
street.”

 

Eventually, all the Kias and Priuses (should that be Prii?) skedaddled,
and we were able to move into position. 
As the lucky few who have access to Facebook should see in the pictures,
the Panteras were lined two-by-two down the middle of the street flanked by
angle-parked Panteras.  

 

The rest of the show extended over quite a number of blocks, with
classic and muscle cars parked along the streets.  I took pictures of some of the vehicles but
there were so many I was afraid if I tried to capture all of them my phone
might run out of film.

 

I walked the entire perimeter and side streets to examine each cool car,
truck and motorcycle (it took almost an hour-and-a-half).  There were some really nice cars on display
and I was very impressed to learn they do this sort of thing quite often.  I began to realize why people might actually
want to pay the ridiculous taxes and cost of living to reside here (I saw a
flyer for a 2100 square-foot home for sale for the low, low price of just 1.3
million dollars!)

 

One eerie thing I encountered while at the show was an honest-to-goodness
drone.  I looked up to see a small, white
contraption with four propellers hovering above our prized possessions.  Just as I was about to begin pushing through
the crowd screaming for everyone to run for their lives (and soylent green is
people) I realized the thing wasn't sent by the NSA to spy on us.  Rather, it was probably just taking pictures
of our cars.  Pretty innocuous, but also
a bit dangerous because if the batteries ran out at the wrong time, one of our
Panteras might have ended up with a drone-shaped dent in its top! 

 

After a great time with everyone involved, including a church group
giving away free popcorn and sno-cones (which I personally enjoyed—oh, I guess
I did have dinner), we headed back to the hotel.

 

I got to the parking garage, turned off the car, hit the “headlights
off” button, and nothing happened.  The
lights went off all right, but the headlight buckets stayed up.  I tried flipping the switch again and again,
demonstrating the definition of insanity, until Tom suggested I look at the
headlight motor assembly under the front trunk lid.  I did, and tried wiggling the relay wires a
bit (the first thing anyone should always do when trying to fix a problem is wiggle
a few wires).  Presto!  The buckets began working again.  Another problem solved using precise, Italian
methods.

 

I borrowed a pair of vise-grip pliers from the equipment trailer
someone had enough foresight to bring to the event, and George lent me a tube
of black silicone rubber.  This allowed
me to re-attach the brace I affixed to the lower portion of my front air
dam.  I guess on one of the altercations
it had with the road between University Place and San Diego the brace had
broken free from the air dam on one side. 
By tomorrow that problem should also be rectified.

 

I spent a little time in the hospitality suite, and found out I can buy
raffle tickets using a credit card. 
Vicki, if you’re reading this, please stop reading at this point.

 

I bought $50 worth of raffle tickets, and put all of them in the box in
front of the new taillight lenses.  That’s
right—one item—shoot the works!  I usually
don’t gamble, unless it has to do with potentially winning new Pantera parts,
or driving a 42-year-old car 2900 miles across the Country.

 

More fun on the way tomorrow! 		 	   		  
-------------- next part --------------
   Day Eight, March 30^th: A Great Day in Panteraland


   Toby Keith recorded a song called I Love This Bar.  Even though I dont
   drink, I can completely relate to his sentiments on a slightly
   different level.  I love this room service.  Im just now sitting down
   to write about todays activities, and because the day was so jam-packed
   with action, it turns out I skipped lunch and a proper dinner.  I knew
   I needed something to eat besides the M&Ms and pretzels Id enjoyed
   while in the hospitality suite, so in an act of purest optimism I
   called the operator and asked if I could get a milkshake at 11:00 at
   night.


   Not only was the answer yes, but it could even be delivered to my
   room!  Best of all, it will only cost me $10.00.


   Now, I know what youre thinking, Thats a lot for a milkshake.  That may
   be true, but its all about priorities.  Some people would say its crazy
   for anyone to spend his or her entire life-savings on a Pantera, but I
   would hazard a guess everyone reading this would find that a totally
   sane thing to do


   Ah, whats this?  A knock on my door.  It is, in fact, said milkshake
   being delivered.  Although a bit small, it looks delicious.  The silly
   room service guy forgot to bring a straw (!) but for the generous tip I
   gave him, he agreed to go fetch one for me.  By the time I finish this
   paragraph he will have returned and Ill be happily sipping.


   A delicious milkshake is a great ending to a great day.  This morning I
   got up at about 5:30 AM for the only thing on the planet that would
   cause me to do such a foolhardy thing.  Today was the day Vicki and
   Donny left for home.  They took an early flight so Don could get back
   to University Place in time to attend a friends graduation.  I wanted
   to be awake when they left so I could give them a hug and a kiss
   goodbye (Vicki got both; Don simply got a hug).  Once they were safely
   on their way, I went back to bed.


   I didn't sleep for long8:00 arrived all too soon.  Due to intense
   pressure from my loyal readers, I have been forced to make a change in
   my persona.  It concerns my weak attempt at growing a beard.  It was
   actually only one person who complained.  I wont mention her name,
   other than to say her email address includes the words fast and
   grandma.  She wrote she wanted the old Chris back.  I took that to mean
   she wanted me to look less homeless, so for the first time this
   vacation, I took out the shaving cream and destroyed 2 weeks-worth of
   follicular exercise.  If it weren't for the grey hairs, wrinkles, and
   pot-belly, Id look 15 again.


   After becoming fully awake, I went to the buffet breakfast.
   Unfortunately, because it took so long to shave off my huge, manly
   beard, I only had time left to eat a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats.  Its
   just as wellI was still so stuffed from yesterday I really didn't need
   breakfast at all.


   I ran into Bob and Dena Lewis in the elevator, and we were all amazed
   that we arrived at the right floor in less than 25 minutes.  The
   elevator in this place seems to have a mind of its own.  I think it
   might qualify to be one of the exhibits in the Haunted Tour I saw
   advertised.


   During breakfast I sat at a table full of friendly POCA members,
   including fellow north-westerners Denny and Maggie Finn.  It was fun
   talking with them, but I soon had to leave to get to the parking garage
   in time for the drivers meeting prior to the Midway tour.  I was
   looking forward to the tour, since I have always had an interest in the
   rides and side-shows of county fairs.


   Im kidding, of course.  The Midway we were about to see is a rather
   gargantuan aircraft carrier that, in a prime example of our Governments
   penchant for good timing, was commissioned into service exactly one
   week before the end of World-War Two.  Missed it by that much


   Surprisingly, no one got lost on the way to the museum, and soon we
   were parked in the lot next to the giant ship.  If you go to my
   Facebook, you might be able to see the pictures I took of our cars
   lined up.  Those of you reading this on the forum will have to again
   use your imagination.


   I opted for the audio tour.  I was issued headphones and a receiver.
   Note the use of the military-sounding word issued.  Im getting you in
   the mood for Navy stuff.  I took a considerable amount of pictures,
   including a shot of the small space allocated to provide sleeping
   quarters for a lot of personnel.  Talk about sardines!  This
   arrangement was for the enlisted menofficers were afforded much nicer
   accommodations.


   The control rooms were as complicated as you would expect on a ship
   that carried a crew of between 3,700 and 4,500 people.


   The ship had a compliment of airplanes on display on the flight deck,
   ranging from vintage, World-War Two examples to helicopters, to
   contemporary jets.  Throughout the ship there were various mannequins
   in navy-ish poses.  It was kind of creepy, actually, because as I
   followed the little yellow arrows from audio-station to audio-station,
   I was surrounded by other tourists who were real.  Then, all of a
   sudden, Id come fact-to-face with a non-moving sailor.  Sometimes the
   difference between the two became a bit blurred.  For example, one of
   the displays depicted a soldier sleeping.  The dummy used in that
   instance was expanding and contracting along with a snoring
   soundtrack.  It sounded almost exactly as Vicki describes my snoring,
   and with the movement the thing seemed quite lifelike.  On the other
   hand, some of the tourists I saw seemed to have the vacant stare of the
   mannequins


   The ship had a chapel, too, which I thought was a nice touch.  Im
   surprised (and relieved) its still part of the tour, since it seems
   these days anything to do with religion is somehow offensive so someone
   somewhere.


   There was also a display of exquisite place settings
   one wouldn't expect to find in the military, but as I mentioned
   earlier, officers received much better accommodations than the typical
   sailor.


   I took a picture of the bridge with a jet in the foreground, and you
   can see how great the weather was.  A breeze kept things in the perfect
   temperature range.  I took several other pictures, including an
   intimidating view of a fighter jet, as well as from the flight deck a
   view of the Panteras in the parking lot.


   In the radar room I saw a readout which had indications of small
   objects scattered all about the screen in a seemingly random, haphazard
   pattern.  It turned out it was an aerial view of the Pantera group that
   yesterday was trying to stay together for the mountain drive.


   I also took a couple of artistic shots; one of the backs of the
   Panteras in the parking lot, and another of my car with the bridge of
   the Midway in the background.  The amazing thing is it costs about the
   same to operate the Midway as it does to keep Pandora running


   I've had the opportunity of sharing my POCA Fun Rally activities with
   Tom Shinrock, and he has been a valuable co-pilot.  We drove back to
   the hotel (without getting lost) in time to have an hour or so before
   leaving for the Escondido Cruise-In later that afternoon.


   That was just enough time for me to enjoy a bowl of clam chowder and a
   vanilla Frappuccino at the snack bar before meeting Tom in the parking
   garage for the pre-cruise-in drivers meeting.


   The trip to Escondido was about a half-an-hour, which gave me a chance
   to see if my air conditioner still worked.  To my relief, it worked
   great.  As we drove to the cruse-in, we encountered the most confusing
   car-pool lane arrangement I've ever seen.  The lanes divided with the
   familiar diamond pattern in the HOV lanes, but there were large signs
   indicating cars in those lanes would get charged 50 cents every so
   often, and there was also a picture of some sort of certificate.  Im
   not sure if it meant if you had the certificate youre bank account
   would get billed automatically, if you didn't have the certificate youd
   get a bill in the mail, if you were a single-occupant car in the
   carpool lane with the certificate you could stay in the lane but youd
   have to pony-up the 50 cents, or if the certificate was something
   Californians could get to make them feel superior to us out-of-towners.


   I simply kept driving.


   When we reached the cruise in, we found an entire city block had been
   reserved for Panteras.  Even then, I dont think the organizers were
   prepared for the sheer number of Panteras that arrived.  Some of us had
   to wait a while before getting staged, primarily because a few shoppers
   had parked their daily-drivers in the areas which were supposed to be
   reserved for the classic and collector cars involved with the
   cruise-in.


   Im not sure how anyone could be so oblivious as to what is going on not
   to notice his or her car is in the wrong place.  Hey Mildred, how come
   every car parked next to ours is 44 inches tall and has massive
   horsepower?  Plus, they all look kinda eye-tal-ee-un.  Do ya think
   there might be some kinda show goin on?  I wondered what all them
   orange cones were doin in the middle of the street.


   Eventually, all the Kias and Priuses (should that be Prii?) skedaddled,
   and we were able to move into position.  As the lucky few who have
   access to Facebook should see in the pictures, the Panteras were lined
   two-by-two down the middle of the street flanked by angle-parked
   Panteras.


   The rest of the show extended over quite a number of blocks, with
   classic and muscle cars parked along the streets.  I took pictures of
   some of the vehicles but there were so many I was afraid if I tried to
   capture all of them my phone might run out of film.


   I walked the entire perimeter and side streets to examine each cool
   car, truck and motorcycle (it took almost an hour-and-a-half).  There
   were some really nice cars on display and I was very impressed to learn
   they do this sort of thing quite often.  I began to realize why people
   might actually want to pay the ridiculous taxes and cost of living to
   reside here (I saw a flyer for a 2100 square-foot home for sale for the
   low, low price of just 1.3 million dollars!)


   One eerie thing I encountered while at the show was an
   honest-to-goodness drone.  I looked up to see a small, white
   contraption with four propellers hovering above our prized
   possessions.  Just as I was about to begin pushing through the crowd
   screaming for everyone to run for their lives (and soylent green is
   people) I realized the thing wasn't sent by the NSA to spy on us.
   Rather, it was probably just taking pictures of our cars.  Pretty
   innocuous, but also a bit dangerous because if the batteries ran out at
   the wrong time, one of our Panteras might have ended up with a
   drone-shaped dent in its top!


   After a great time with everyone involved, including a church group
   giving away free popcorn and sno-cones (which I personally enjoyedoh, I
   guess I did have dinner), we headed back to the hotel.


   I got to the parking garage, turned off the car, hit the headlights off
   button, and nothing happened.  The lights went off all right, but the
   headlight buckets stayed up.  I tried flipping the switch again and
   again, demonstrating the definition of insanity, until Tom suggested I
   look at the headlight motor assembly under the front trunk lid.  I did,
   and tried wiggling the relay wires a bit (the first thing anyone should
   always do when trying to fix a problem is wiggle a few wires).
   Presto!  The buckets began working again.  Another problem solved using
   precise, Italian methods.


   I borrowed a pair of vise-grip pliers from the equipment trailer
   someone had enough foresight to bring to the event, and George lent me
   a tube of black silicone rubber.  This allowed me to re-attach the
   brace I affixed to the lower portion of my front air dam.  I guess on
   one of the altercations it had with the road between University Place
   and San Diego the brace had broken free from the air dam on one side.
   By tomorrow that problem should also be rectified.


   I spent a little time in the hospitality suite, and found out I can buy
   raffle tickets using a credit card.  Vicki, if youre reading this,
   please stop reading at this point.


   I bought $50 worth of raffle tickets, and put all of them in the box in
   front of the new taillight lenses.  Thats rightone itemshoot the
   works!  I usually dont gamble, unless it has to do with potentially
   winning new Pantera parts, or driving a 42-year-old car 2900 miles
   across the Country.


   More fun on the way tomorrow!