[DeTomaso] The Pantera Wedding

Mike Drew MikeLDrew at aol.com
Wed Sep 18 22:03:07 EDT 2013


I'm so glad Lori and I decided to leave ours parked! :)

Mike

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 18, 2013, at 18:41, " Charles Engles" <cengles at cox.net> wrote:

> Dear Forum,
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>               The Pantera Wedding Story
> 
> 
> 
> A man had a Pantera.  A nice mild mannered and well regarded man had a
> Pantera.   His son was engaged to be married.  The fiancé had the idea for
> the departure from the church to be in her future father-in-law’s Italian
> sports car driven by her soon to be husband.  She was enchanted with the
> idea.  The son approached the father with the Big Plan.  Dad voiced some
> lukewarm support, but was nonetheless very concerned.
> 
> 
> 
> His first concern was that his son had never driven a manual transmission
> car much less the Pantera.  He had never been interested.  He didn’t care
> much about cars.  His second concern was the little voice about his
> Pantera’s well known ability to obey Murphy’s Law.
> 
> 
> 
> He brought his problem to me and I counseled him.  I agreed that the Big
> Plan was a Bad Plan.  We discussed other options that did not involve manual
> transmissions and that did include other automatic transmission sports cars.
> He remembered that he still had his mother’s classic Jaguar sedan in storage
> that could work well.
> 
> 
> 
> I also pointed out that fitting a newly married bride in her elaborate
> wedding dress in the passenger seat of a Pantera might be difficult enough
> to dissuade the bride.  That strategy was well taken.
> 
> 
> 
> In preparation for the event, it was found that the Pantera needed a new
> battery.  After it was installed it was found that the hood wouldn’t close
> and latch.  No obvious cause was found, but removal of the latch spring
> permitted closure and latching.   A small victory over Murphy.
> 
> 
> 
> Optimism increased.  The son practiced driving a manual in the Honda, but
> never in the Pantera.   As the day drew closer, a test fitting of the
> bride-to-be in the Pantera, showed that she didn’t think that there would be
> a problem even with her wedding dress.  Rats.
> 
> 
> 
> On the day before the wedding, there had still been no Pantera practice for
> the groom.  Finally, there was an intense session and a satisfactory, but
> not skillful performance was accomplished.  He only needed to drive it three
> blocks on residential streets and didn’t even need to shift out of first.
> The Pantera was cleaned up.  What could go wrong?
> 
> 
> 
> Dad decided to get the Jaguar anyway.  He went to the storage facility.
> Problem number one: four flat tires.    Problem number two: the keys
> couldn’t be found at home nor anywhere hidden in the car.    Anxiety was
> building.
> 
> 
> 
> On the day of the wedding, the Pantera was strategically parked near its
> “stage entrance” with the windows cracked open in the summer heat.  Dad had
> two sets of keys to prevent another Jaguar disaster.   
> 
> 
> 
> One hundred and sixty seven people attended the wedding.  The ceremony moved
> along to the dramatic departure of the happy couple.  People moved outside
> the church.  Dad went out to start the Pantera and position it in front of
> the door for the bride and groom to drive away.
> 
> 
> 
> Dad in his tuxedo walked over to his Pantera and put the key in the door to
> open it.   It wouldn’t open.  He checked that it is the right key.  Further
> quick frustrating tries didn’t work.  Nonchalantly, he quickly went to the
> passenger door.  The same problem: unbelievably, the door key isn’t working
> to open the doors.  The couple has appeared at the church door.  Everyone is
> looking at Dad as the rice and confetti and streamers are being consumed.
> In short order the unexpected pause in the departure becomes more obvious as
> the flying potpourri does run out.  One of the bride’s family members tries
> to help the increasingly upset Pantera owner.  He proceeds to try to use the
> ignition key in the door lock producing some harsh words as Dad reclaimed
> his keys.  Finally, a brain storm happened.  Someone ran inside the church
> and retrieved a coat hanger.  Dad proceeded to open the Pantera through the
> slightly open windows.  With the Pantera finally open, it started
> immediately and the bride and groom took off a bit later than planned.  They
> also left behind a lot of mixed feelings in Dad about the whole affair.
> 
> 
> 
> The next phase of the celebration was to be downtown.  The Pantera’s home
> garage was on the way to the reception.   Dad picked up the Pantera three
> blocks away, which had wisely been left unlocked.  It started up and he
> headed home as night was very quickly falling.  A short distance into the
> trip, Murphy struck again.   Dad was calmly driving along when he had the
> incredibly helpless feeling of watching his headlights spontaneously sink
> into the hood as darkness engulfed the front of the Pantera.   No
> headlights.  No taillights according to the chase vehicle behind him and no
> flashers.   In a moment or two, they unexpectedly spontaneously came back
> up…..followed a few minutes later by another failure of the lighting system.
> This happened about ten times over the eight mile trip home.
> 
> 
> 
> Finally, with Murphy’s Pantera safely stored back at home, Dad went on to
> the reception and reflected on the departure debacle.   It seems that his
> first gut reaction was right about not wanting to use the Pantera in the
> wedding and he sure as hell wished that he been able to find the damn keys
> to the Jaguar.
> 
> 
> 
> This is a true story. 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
>                   Respectfully yours,  Chuck Engles
> 
> 
> 
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