[DeTomaso] Pantera Lust

[MikeLDrew at aol.com]

Hi guys,

I was doing a homework assignment, leafing through back issues of the PCNC 
newsletter that I've been creating each month since 1991, when I stumbled 
across a short article I wrote regarding a day spent with Steve Mooney, who 
was/is a San Francisco police officer.   I had completely forgotten about the 
first (and by far the most interesting) part of this episode, and when I 
re-read the story I knew it needed to be shared here.

This took place in November of 1997....

Mike

====

Pantera Lust
By Mike Drew

It started out as just another ordinary assignment for POCA.   I was to 
meet up with the owner of a particularly noteworthy De Tomaso, and arrange for 
a photo shoot in order to create a feature article for PROFILES, the POCA 
quarterly magazine.   Long ago I had decided that when Steve Mooney’s GT5 
Pantera was complete, it would be featured in the magazine, so upon hearing that 
it was up and running, I made arrangements to meet him and drive to a 
scenic spot, camera in hand.

Steve is a longtime resident of the East Bay, and said he knew some 
terrific back roads in the Oakland hills.   After a bit of freeway droning, we 
found ourselves on a twisty mountain road with a 35 mph speed limit.   Steve was 
‘exercising’ the car a bit, but not more than about 15 mph over the limit. 
  We came hustling around a corner, when we met a police car coming the 
other way.   Steve glanced in the mirror and said, “Uh-oh, he’s turning 
around.   I’m not going to make him work for it, I’ll pull over at the next 
opportunity.”

Around the next bend we discovered a very large pull-off area, and Steve 
quickly pulled off the road and drove towards the far end.   We happened to 
notice there was an old El Camino parked at the near end of this pullout, but 
didn’t take any notice of it.

What we didn’t know at the time was that inside this El Camino were two 
teenagers.   And it happened that these teenagers were both *completely naked!* 
  Furthermore, these teenagers were doing what all teenagers do when they’
re stark naked in an automobile in a secluded spot.

The thing is, when the Pantera went rumbling past and came to stop some 75 
feet in front of them, the guy stopped!   He looked out the windshield and 
said, “Hey, what kind of car is that?”   To which his girlfriend undoubtedly 
replied, “Huh?”   “Check it out, it’s a bitchin’ lookin’ car, maybe a 
Lamborghini or somethin’!”   So the guy was looking at the Pantera, while his 
frustrated girlfriend was scowling at him, and thus neither of them noticed 
the police car that silently glided to a halt behind them.

The officer started walking up the road, and as he passed the El Camino his 
keen powers of observation led him to a startling conclusion.   “Hey!   
These people are completely naked!”    With instincts honed by over 20 years of 
law enforcement experience, he concluded, “This bears further investigation!
”

He had his ticket book and pen in his hand, so he reached out and tapped on 
the window with the end of his pen.

Reaction inside the car was immediate.   The guy looked over and saw a 
police officer standing alongside of him.   He immediately knew he was in 
trouble, because he had been Doing Something Wrong.   However, perhaps because 
seeing the Pantera had thrilled him to the point of distraction, or perhaps 
because most of his blood was currently located in an organ other than his 
brain, the guy apparently forgot that he was naked!

He casually rolled down the window, and in his best singsong “Who, me?” 
voice, calmly said, “Why, what seems to be the problem officer?”

His girlfriend, in the meantime, was having an apoplectic fit, frantically 
trying to conceal her obvious nudity, and began tapping her guy on the arm 
to get him to follow suit.   He was initially irritated at her incessant 
interruptions, saying, “Honey, I’m talking to the officer here!”   He finally 
glanced over at her, then noticed her state of undress.   He then glanced 
down and saw his similar state, and the realization suddenly hit!   DOOP!

The officer retreated to a discreet distance to allow them time to get 
dressed again, and while there, Steve went over and introduced himself, and 
issued the Secret Handshake which indicated he was a member of the brotherhood 
of officers.   All talk of Steve’s ticket was immediately dismissed.   

However, we stuck around chuckling while the teenagers were issued a 
citation for indecent exposure, etc. and after they left, as a second officer had 
arrived (this one on a motorcycle) we staged a nice photo shoot of Steve 
supposedly receiving a ticket from these two.   It’s a perfectly classic setup, 
and the resultant photos turned out great!   Look for them in the next 
issue.

The lesson from all this is, if you should happen to find yourself being 
pulled over, do whatever you can to stop near people who are doing something 
worse (or at least more interesting) than you were!