[DeTomaso] Fwd: Pandora's Perils part III; the long haul

Wed Apr 25 06:35:04 EDT 2012

Simply fabulous.
After reading your journal, my tummy hurt from eating too much, my daily
need for speed was satisfied, my hair is askew and I'm ready to go back to
sleep in my nice cool bedroom.
Well done.

Michael Shortt
---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Christopher Kimball" <chrisvkimball at msn.com>
Date: Apr 25, 2012 1:50 AM
Subject: [DeTomaso] Pandora's Perils part III; the long haul
To: "Pantera List Serve" <detomaso at realbig.com>

I had a good sleep last night in preparation for today's journey--what
Google Maps described as an 8 1/2-hour drive to Las Vegas from Twin Falls.
 It turned out I made the trip in 6.5 hours, including a 45-minute lunch
stop.  I'm not exactly sure how that happened...  :)
The reason I slept so well didn't have as much to do with the drive as it
did with the fact that for dinner last night, Clarke and Wilma Hamm and I
ate at the "Golden Corral."  Now I know some of you reading this may not be
culinary experts and have not had the chance to dine at such establishments
as Morton's Steakhouse, El Gaucho, The Metropolitan Grill, The French
Laundry, Per Se, Aragawa, Gordon Ramsay, Acquarello, Alberto Ciarla, and
other exquisite eateries, so you may not be familiar with the Golden
Corral.  Let me tell you, though, that place rocks!  For $13.00 you get all
you can eat--and that includes the cost of your beverage(s)!  I decided to
have something nutritious so I could tell my wife I didn't eat only ice
cream on this trip.  I thought a small salad would suffice.  Well, by the
time I took a little of each available salad item (including, of course,
Mandarin oranges--a salad just isn't a salad without Mandarin oranges), the
plate was stacked several inches high and topped with about a half-cup of
honey-mustard dressing.  Once that was consumed, I just had to try the
"flash-fried" shrimp and tilapia ("flash-fried" is a new feature at the
Golden Corral, according to the big sign above the "flash-fry" station).
 That's right; the guy--I mean, the chef--just threw some raw shrimp and
fish into a pan and cooked it right there, while I watched.  Such
excitement defies description.  I also needed to try the deep-fired
Calamari, clam strips, and, yes, more shrimp (but this shrimp wasn't
"flash-fried," it was deep fried.  A subtle but noticeable difference).  By
the time I had eaten most of this feast, and imbibed a couple of root beer
floats, I decided I was too full for dessert.  Clarke, however, egged me on
(no pun intended), and I was compelled to visit the dessert table.  I
marveled at the array of cakes, pies, brownies and more, but then,
suddenly, I saw it.  There, standing before me as if an alter to sweetness,
stood a three-tiered chocolate fondue fountain!  I was very close to doing
an Agustus Gloop straight into the thing (it must have been four feet
tall), but as I looked around the area, it appeared by the drips of
chocolate residue sprayed everywhere, that someone had beaten me to it.
 Nevertheless, I did enjoy a couple of huge strawberries smothered in
chocolate.  And some angel-food cake.
That's why I slept so well.
Anyway, I received my wake-up call promptly at 7:45 AM, showered, and went
to breakfast, only to find that Clarke and Wilma had, once again, already
left the building.  For a moment I wondered if they purposely departed
before I showed up for the complimentary oatmeal, because they couldn't
bear to sit and wait 40 minutes for me to finish eating what a normal
person could consume in 5.  I immediately dismissed that thought--what a
silly thing to think!
I jumped in the car, and she started right up.  I stopped at a local gas
station, checked the oil (only about a quarter of a quart low), filled 'er
up, and hit the road.
And what a road it was.  Clarke and Wilma did a great job of choosing the
route.  The scenery was fabulous--green trees, rolling fields, awesome rock
formations, stunning valleys, quaint farmhouses, and best of all, long,
straight roads punctuated by long, sweeping curves.  The temperature was,
for the majority of today's drive, perfect.  One window halfway down was
all that was needed to fill the car with a cool breeze filled with the
pleasant aromas of summer.  Well, except when I was driving by those quaint
farmhouses--they tend to have big fields that are fertilized with a
substance that is anything but quaint.  Odoriferous, yes; quaint, no.
Traffic was minimal.  There were a few times I had no choice but to pass
slower vehicles, and to do so safely necessitated rather high speeds.  One
wants to spend as little time as possible in the wrong lane, you
understand.  Although for the majority of the time the cruise control was
set about 4 to 5 miles-per-hours above the conservative legal limit
(they're not rules as much as... guidelines...), there were times when I
drove a bit faster.  Pandora is very comfortable traveling between 110 and
120 (well, that's what she told me, anyway).
I passed through a number of small towns along the way, stopping in Ely,
Nevada for gas.  While there, I spent a few minutes eating some more of
Vicki's homemade banana bread and drinking another Frappuccino.  I should
note that due to the generous size of the banana bread loaf, my need to
purchase food has been minimal--I've only spent about $25.00 so far.  Of
course, after spending a couple of hours at the Golden Corral, I'm sure I
could go without any additional food for a week or more...
While sitting at the picnic table next to the Shell gas station (and food
mart), I noticed something I had seen in so many other small towns:  Empty
buildings.  Most of them had "for lease" or "for sale" signs in the
shuttered windows.  Some had no such signs, and were simply vacant; falling
into disrepair.  I wondered if the abandoned cafe across the street had
once been owned by a family that had high hopes for owning their own
business.  Perhaps it had even been started by a grandparent, only to fall
victim to the brutal economy of the last few years.  Las Vegas has been hit
especially hard by the real-estate collapse, and the many broken dreams in
the shape of bankrupt businesses is a sad, silent tribute to the wretched
state of the area's economy.  I was glad there was a Shell gas station in
that town.  Without that, there would be almost no jobs for the local
residents.
Fortunately, Pandora's behavior had been anything but wretched.  Today she
purred like a kitten--er, a panther.  So much so that I simply couldn't
resist the temptation of a long, flat stretch of roadway on which I found
myself.
For the record:  I've always been one who has felt it important for people
to accept the consequences of their actions.  So I will take full
responsibility for what happened (unless it was caused by a large semi
coming the other way, which would have caused a severe gust of wind, just
like the kind of wind a car would experience if it were traveling quite
rapidly.  That excuse is so lame I should probably just delete it from this
email).  OK, so I'm not sure exactly how fast I was going--let's just say I
was flirting with the redline--and what I think must have happened was that
a combination of strong airflow, road surface causing the car's body to
flex, and the possibility I may not have fully closed my trick, gill-gas
fill cover, caused the cover to fly open.  I didn't notice it for a while,
but eventually I glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw that the gill was
wide open, catching the wind as if it were a kite.  I immediately pulled
over to assess any damage that might have occurred.  The gill had flown
open with such force that it overextended, causing the ribs on the surface
of the gill to create four small dents in the pillar.  Very annoying.  The
dents are very close to the stress cracks that seem to form on every
Pantera, above the gills and toward the back.  At this point, any chance
that a person might not have noticed the stress cracks has been eliminated
as the person will immediately notice the dents, then look closer and see
the stress cracks as well.
I've been wanting to have a little body work done to get rid of those
cracks, and now I guess I have an excuse to do so--at the same time the
dents are being removed.
I also noticed when applying brake pressure to slow down from triple-digit
speeds, if I really push hard, a throbbing effect begins to occur.  I'm
hoping when I get to Phoenix someone will be able to help me determine if
my rotors are warped.
I mentioned earlier the weather started out perfect.  Well, about an hour
outside of Vegas, things started to warm up a bit.  "No problem," I
thought, smugly, "I have air conditioning."  I had just been bragging to
Clarke and Wilma that I didn't even bother having my A/C recharged for this
trip, since it had been working so well.  I guess you can see what's
coming.  After a few minutes of being cool (that's cool as in
temperature--I have no hope of ever being the other kind),  I noticed I was
getting warmer (and I wasn't playing that game where you hide something
from someone and if they are getting warmer it's a good thing).  Sure
enough, the air coming from the vents was only about 1 degree cooler than
the air outside.  There's one more thing I'll need address in Phoenix.
I also think I have my stereo issue figured out.  At first I thought it
might be that Vicki secretly installed something in the stereo so that if I
tried to listen at a volume level she thinks is inappropriate, the entire
system would shut down.  It appears, however, that the amplifiers have some
sort of thermal overload protection circuit that has nothing to do with a
concerned wife.  Since I have a bunch of tools wrapped in towels
surrounding and on top of the amplifiers in the front trunk, after extended
listening to classic rock at the volume for which it was intended (is there
anything else worth listening to?), the lack of sufficient head dissipation
causes the amps to go into "protect" mode.  (Remember on Star Trek, the
quote, "Roc, protect"?  It's just like that).  Therefore, it's no big deal.
 After turning off the system for about five minutes, everything resets and
it's back to 38 Special.
One last thing.  I'm in a very nice hotel, but they have adopted a policy
that strikes me as very silly.  Apparently, to help the planet, they now
have a system whereby in order to operate the room's air conditioner, one
must insert his or her key card into a special slot found on a control
panel located on the wall just inside the door.  Without the key, the
cooling/heating unit will not function.  The idea, of course, is to prevent
a guest from leaving the room with the until running. Heaven forbid the
guest might want to come back to a room with a comfortable temperature!
 That might upset the entire ecological balance of the planet and cause
more global warming, unless it was during the summer, in which case it
would cause global cooling, since everyone would be leaving the
air-conditioning on.  What is hilarious about all this is that to keep the
guests happy, the friendly front-desk woman simply explains the process,
and then gives each guest two keys. One key is to be used to open the door,
and the other left in the control panel so the heating/air conditioning
unit can keep running...  Oh yes, and all the extra keys that will need to
be manufactured for this?  Yes, they are all made of plastic--a petroleum
based product.  So much for saving the planet.
But hey, I'm doing my part--I finally got Pantera to quit burning oil!
Sincerely,
Chris

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