[DeTomaso] Fwd: Hilarious helmet for sale ad

[Biancoj at aol.com]

Detomaso fans
I'll bet if you just changed the word motorcycle with  the words Detomaso 
Pantera, a lot of us would see ourselves in some  form.
Joe Bianco
 
In a message dated 4/1/2008 5:32:30 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
MikeLDrew at aol.com writes:



While trolling the internet looking for good deals for people  to buy helmets 
so they can join the fun on the track in Las Vegas in just  FOUR WEEKS, I 
stumbled across this ad for a helmet for sale.    It's actually the text 
plucked 
from an E-bay ad; the ad is now gone but  the text says it all!

Mike

=====


Reprinted exactly  from the ad (spelling/grammar are seller’s own):

This Helmet is like  brand new. I bought it for my wife, but it's to

small for  her big fat head.You know, it was all a big lie right from

the beginning. I asked her if she liked bikes, (i've been riding  since

i was 9 years old.) She's like "Yeah, I love  Motorcycles, they're

great!" Now, i'm thinking to myself, this chicks  cool, she's hot, has

big boobs, and loves motorcycles. I gotta snag  this one up

quick.Little did i know that as soon as i gave  her the engagement

ring, all that would change. First, it was a subtle  hint, you know,

that the wedding's going to be expensive, and that that  band costs

just as much as my motorcycle. With all these  wedding plans going on,

i hardly have time to ride my bike. I'm  schleping all over the state

looking at reception halls,  listening to cheesy wedding bands, and

picking out floral  arrangements. She brings up the fact that i havn't

ridden my bike in a  while now, (No kidding!! She won't let me out of

her sight  for more than 5 minutes!) and that maybe i should sell it.

Now, that brings a whole lot of tension into the situation. I'm  like

no way! Then i notice that our sex life has reduced  dramatically. A

man has gotta do, what he's gotta do, so, i sell the  bike, thinking

that things will get better. She promises me, that as  soon as we get

married, she'll get a good job, and then i  can get another bike. We

get married, and we're having sex everyday.  Life is good. The Evil One

is looking for work for like, 6  months. I find it hard to believe that

she can't find a  damn job, but who am i to say? She's just holding out

for  that Management position she says. To be quite honest, i really

don't  care, she's cleaning my pipes better than Roto Rooter. Then  the

kicker…She tells me she's pregnant. All the while i thought she  was

on the pill! I ask her how this happened, and she said the pill  gave

her facial hair. (I really couldn't see a difference,  after all she is

Italian). Fast Foward 9 months…i'm out  breaking my back doing manual

labor, she's a big, fat,  hairy lipped beach ball, with the disposition

of a rabid  Pit Bull. Nothing i say, or do is good enough for her. The

day she gave  birth, i thought again, that things will change for the

better. WRONG!! Now everythings about the baby. Me, i'm second  fiddle.

Sex life? Ha! The only time i get some action is  when i see her breast

feeding the little bastard! I'm  going crazy, at least if i had a

motorcycle, i could take  out some of my frustration. Even the guys at

work notice how miserable  i've been. One day, my partner rolls up on a

brand new  bike. I wanted to commit suicide. He knows how bad i wanted

another  bike. He see's the look in my eye, and asks me if i would  like

to take it out for a spin Friday night. It was truly  the first time i

lit up since marrying that bitch. Friday rolls around,  i cash my

check, and head on over to my partners house. I  cruise around for a

while, and end up at this little bar on the edge of  town. I head up to

the bar, place my helmet on it, and  order a beer. I look over and see

this little hottie chatting it up  with her friends. I notice that the

eye contact is getting more and  more frequent. After a few more

minutes, she walks over to me and tells  me she just loves motorcycles.

That they get her  "excited". I ask her if she wants to go for a ride.

Her beautifully  full lips widen with a pearly white smile. I take that

as  a yes. I grab her by the hand, and lead her to the bike. She  straps

on the spare helmet that was on the bike, and away  we go. We ride for

hours. She taps me on the shoulder, and tells me her  apartment is on

the next block. Would i want to stop in  for a while and have another

beer. Who am i to say no? I  watch her lead the way, and i can't keep

my eyes off of  her tight lil' behind. I think back to the days when

old hippo ass  looked like this. Well, once upstairs, one beer turned

into two, and so on. The next thing i know, i'm in bed with her,  and

she was amazing! It was the best expierence i have  ever had. Right

then i had an epiphany. I had to be happy.  I wasn't going to live a

miserable existance for the rest of my life  and something had to be

done. Long story short, i left my hairy beast  of a wife. (She's done

good since i left. She remarried an  Appliance salesman named Harold.)

While i was moving out, i came across  the helmet. I don't ever want to

be reminded of my  miserable past life, so please, make a bid. I have a

motorcycle payment to make! The helmet has no scratches, size MED and

i  would rate it a 9 out of 10 Winning bidder to Pay with PAYPAL  ONLY.

Winning Bidder to pay all Shipping costs. I ship UPS ONLY. No  Zero or

Negative Feedback Bidders.

=====

Now, there's a  sales pitch!

Mike








Joe  Bianco
#1553
Charleston, SC



**************Create a Home Theater Like the Pros. Watch the video on AOL 
Home.      
(http://home.aol.com/diy/home-improvement-eric-stromer?video=15&ncid=aolhom00030000000001)