[DeTomaso] NPC: Police comments

[Mike Thomas]

The following 15 police comments were taken from actual Dallas Police car
videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD, Public Relations
Officer: 
 
#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
out after you wear them awhile." 
 
#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a
worthless document." 
 
#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 
 
#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? " 
 
#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can
write anything I want on the ticket, huh?" 
 
#10. "Yes sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?" 
 
#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run
that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket." 
 
#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 
 
#7. "Fair?......You want me to be fair? Listen pal, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!" 
 
#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven." 
 
#5. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now
we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want." 
 
#4. "Just how big were those two beers?" 
 
#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through the records department. " 
 
#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail." 
 
And....................THE BEST ONE!!!!!!! 
 
#1. "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well,
you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."